Expectations

Have you read -=MY DISCLAIMER=- yet?

I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately and studying philosophy as I am apt to do when struggling through a difficult period in my life. Reading Christopher Hitchens' allowed me to address and contemplate my hostility towards religion and religious people, and while it has not altered my opinion it did put it in perspective. Remember, when I vent about how mindless god makes the human race remember there's someone who hates it even more than I do and is much more eloquent about it. Reading through the work of fatalists, realists, existentialists, and the like has been good for me the past few weeks. I haven't made any ground breaking realizations that will improve the existence of mankind, but then again I have no interest in making the human race any more prone to ignoring the laws of nature and protecting the shallow end of the gene pool from itself than it already is. Instead I've come to a few conclusions about myself and my own behavior over the past 8 years of my life.

To anyone who, like me, is fixated on achieving the financial goal of "finished"/"done"/"the end" meaning all debt completely gone, and you're not at least 50 years old...GIVE UP. For 8 years I have chased that and am not one step closer than I was when I started. Along the way I had a daughter, bought a house, got the wife a new car and had her eyes fixed with laser surgery but instead of seeing these as improvements instead to me all I saw was that for 8 years of working I was nowhere nearer my goal. I haven't enjoyed my life and that ends now. I no longer care about money, you can't take it with you and I'd much rather have some fun along the way than continue to live as I have. As the mantra goes "All work and no play makes Homer something something" and I truly believe that especially over the past 2-3 years I've slowly been going slightly crazy because of the hopeless battle I've been fighting against a seemingly immovable object. I always thought that once I got "finished" I would be able to enjoy my life, do the things I wanted to do, buy things I wanted to buy, go places I wanted to go, but after 8 years of working without getting a step closer to "finished" I figure screw it...I'm going to do all that now and let the mountain move on it's own cause I no longer care. Toys and trips and good times here I come baby!

Life is going to be fun if it fukkin kills me.