Have you read -=MY DISCLAIMER=- yet?
Ironic isn't it. They say even the devil can quote scripture when it suits his purpose.Well here's my take. I AM the way, THIS is the truth, and THERE IS NO LIGHT. I have no friends left and am becoming less concerned about it by the day. Sure I still have one who talks to me online during the day, and his wife sometimes comments on my Facebook posts but honestly that's about as deep as things get.
I guess I started the divide...the only friends I had live in the city to the East, a good 15 minute drive either way, and they all have nicer homes than we do, but unlike them we never had any serious financial troubles. While a 15 minute drive seems pretty insignificant, and really is when the motivation justifies it, after a while you start to notice a pattern. Almost every weekend we would make the trek over to visit one couple or the other, or more often than not both couples, and make an evening of it but always at their houses. Invites to come to our house were always declined or if "accepted" the venue was immediately changed and we'd be making the drive yet again. It's difficult to have much self esteem when your closest friends treat you as if somehow you're beneath them. Eventually I just stopped wanting to go.
4.06.2011
2.03.2011
On agony and despair
Have you read -=MY DISCLAIMER=- yet?
I just discovered the last friend I had left merely tolerates me. I thought the hurtful banter was just that but it seems I give myself more credit than is deserved. How does one cope with something of this magnitude? Donne said "No man is an Iland intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse..." I think he was right in the sense of an individual's choice, but what of the case of a person the world has turned its back upon? On the one hand I've made my bed but on the other I never expected anything from anyone I didn't demand of myself. There's really no question why I pray for death.
I just discovered the last friend I had left merely tolerates me. I thought the hurtful banter was just that but it seems I give myself more credit than is deserved. How does one cope with something of this magnitude? Donne said "No man is an Iland intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse..." I think he was right in the sense of an individual's choice, but what of the case of a person the world has turned its back upon? On the one hand I've made my bed but on the other I never expected anything from anyone I didn't demand of myself. There's really no question why I pray for death.
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