Pride and predjudice

Have you read -=MY DISCLAIMER=- yet?

Ok listen I posted hastily this afternoon because I was angry and I didn't think it all the way through and go back and edit things like I normally do. I also won't delete it because I have a rule here...I'll delete comments but I'll never delete posts. My marriage has come to an end. I am not happy about that and I am even less happy that I will forever be assumed the bad guy when what really destroyed our marriage was my wife. She attacked me in her blog after we separated and I didn't. I have no intention of doing it now either or ever for that matter. We just ended up not being the people the other one needed and that's what this is all about. I haven't addressed this directly in my blogging or interactions because I have gone underground just like I said I was going to. I gave her terms for reconciliation and she wasn't interested in my terms. I love her and I miss her but things just can't be worked out and it's over. This post is to address all of the conclusions everyone has jumped to.

I'm not drinking myself to death. I'm not in a horrible downward spiral of self destruction. I AM NOT OK. Hear that? I'm admitting it. I'm not ok. I am depressed so severely I can't even leave my fucking house to go see the Airsho with my family. All I can do is get up in the mornings and go to work, then come home and maybe eat, maybe not. Go to sleep, lather, rinse, repeat. I need something from the store I go to the store. I need to go grab something to eat I grab something to eat. I can't face anyone right now ok? I want to put this out there for everyone and I'm saying it once. I'm not drinking lately. I went through my phase binge drinking and it lasted maybe three or four nights right after the whole thing fell apart. I am using my new blog as a creative outlet to vent how I'm feeling. My character can be what I can't but thinking through how he is reacting to write about him allows me to handle what I'm going through and still take care of business to stay sane.

I have suffered for years regardless of what everyone thinks and I'm not going to be able to change anything. I am accepting and dealing and healing to the best of my ability. It's not going all that well but hey I'm still here. I AM sick of everyone assuming I'm going to "do something stupid" or that I'm crawling into a bottle somewhere. If you were really that concerned you'd have come to check on me...and the only person that did was my step-sister. How about that huh? And nobody understands that I got along with my in-laws better than my own family and now I've lost them too. Now I'm alone in my life with my cat Flik and attempting to pick up the pieces of my life and find a way to put them back together. Like I said before thanks for all the fish.