Have you read -=MY DISCLAIMER=- yet?
This is post number one on our Vegas vacation....number two will cover the positives.
How do I put a philosophical spin on my trip to Las Vegas...FFS I've had 5 days to try and develop this post. Vegas is NOT my kind of town. The whole trip we played by ear. Mind you I'm not morally or ethically opposed to gambling all I can say is it's just not for me. Food on the other hand...well food is my kryptonite.
On the flight we saw a review of places on the strip and picked what we thought looked best. Steak for two, drinks, sides, etc we walked out for about $200. Worth. Every. Penny. The sandwich shop in the casino at our hotel made magic for a mere $6 a sammich and had the cheapest beer I saw all weekend at $5 a bottle. We spent nearly $40 for breakfast our first morning; the food was good to be sure but not worth the price. After that we ate breakfast at the sandwich shop. One night we decided to go grab a drink before bed and take it up to our room. The tab for one amaretto sour and Crown and Coke...$28. I couldn't even afford a buzz in Vegas. FYI I don't like to name places, this isn't about advertising, but I'll tell anyone who will listen not to go to Beijing Noodle No. 9 in Caesar's Palace. Don't bother. The floor was filthy, we were seated without place settings and had to go ask the hostess if a server was extra because nobody so much as flipped us off. The food was good but the rest of the experience wasn't worth $2. Kara wouldn't let me leave a $20 and walk out on the balance but you can be sure there was no tip left. Anyone who knows me knows that's a huge deal.
We walked, we saw, we had fun but just as often we were annoyed by the world of The Strip. The crowds of Mexicans with "Hot girls to your door in 20 minutes" t-shirts wordlessly assaulting everyone with the constant slapping and flicking of their pamphlets in your face. The guy every ten feet with a cooler yelling "Cole wata juan doe-la" likely the only 4 words in broken English he knew. Astonishingly enough my paranoia left me alone for the weekend, a nice change of pace. The fountains at Bellagio were very entertaining to see, the huge hotels and casinos were amazing, and people from all around the globe were there speaking whatever language you could hope to hear, but somehow I came away struck by a feeling of cheapness. Nothing was quality. Everything was as gaudy and cheap as they could get away with like spray painting a dog turd gold. Sure it's shiny...but it still stinks. And then disaster struck...
Through an error on our part (probably from booking tickets so far in advance) we showed up to the show we so badly wanted to see the day after with our $225 worth of tickets in hand to be told "That was last night...tonight is Cher." Instead the night of the show we sat through a timeshare presentation to get cheap tickets to a topless revue. The tickets turned out to be obstructed view against the back wall of the theater. So we mistakenly traded second row seats (at a show we desperately wanted to see) for nosebleeds at a show we were using to fill the night before OUR show. Well fukk.
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